Darkness clings to me. It’s searing, suffocating. I’m lost. My heart dives. Where am I?
I catch my thoughts. I’m lying on my back. Can I move? Yes. I lift my right arm and don’t feel any pain. I repeat the exercise with my left arm. Right leg, left leg. I think my eyes are open, but this deadening darkness won’t leave me. I set my hands next to my hips and dig them into the sand. The sand? THE SAND?! Panic. I quickly sit up, and scuffle my hands across the surface below me and conclude that I’m surrounded by sand. If only this darkness would lift. It binds every breath and is scratching at my face. I lift my hands to my head. Cotton? I grasp at my face and for the first time realize what is causing this sorrow. I’m masked. The eye holes spun around on the back of my head which kept the sunlight from my eyes. I grab the bottom of the mask which rests at the base of my chin, and slowly pry it from my skin, sliding it gradually up my face, and eventually off of my head.
I have to squint. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, and as the scene becomes clearer a sense of loneliness overtakes me.
I feel the sand. I see the jungle. I smell the ocean. I am on an island. I’m stranded. Lost. Alone.
Survival instincts kick in and I think of shelter and fire. I begin to stand up and notice two items nestled in the sand next to where I’m sitting. A coconut and a dictionary. These items, along with my body, were strategically placed in this location. There are scattered footprints, and a muffled trail showing that someone dragged me across the beach. Someone put me here.
Overwhelmed and thirsty, I grab the coconut and repeatedly bash it against a nearby rock until it’s milk starts to seep through a crack in the husk. I drink rapidly, trying desperately to quench my thirst. I’ll need shelter, fire, water, and food, yet something tells me to open the dictionary. Why!? I’m facing a very dangerous situation. What would a dictionary do for me now? These are just words! There is no story. There is no hope here. I grab a chuck of pages out of frustration, and hopelessly flip the pages over. I stand up, kick the sand, yell, fall back down into the sand, and softly begin to cry.
I look back to the dictionary and see that I’ve landed in the S’s. I look through the words and notice that this particular page is worn. The upper left corner is bent, wrinkled. I urgently search the page for a clue. A message.
SAVIOR. A person who rescues or delivers.
I’m in the middle of an ocean, on an unknown island. There is no savior here. I weep and stray into stressful sleep.
I only sleep for a short time and as I wake, I sit up and gaze out to the horizon. What is that?! I spring to my feet and sprint toward the shore not believing what I’m seeing. A boat.
What seems like hours pass and the boat finally arrives at my island. A native, grey bearded man steps out of the boat and makes his way through the sand over to where I’m standing.
“I want you to come with me. I am here to rescue you,” he says.
“How did you fi…”
“Silence, friend,” he interrupts. “Answers will come. For now, let us go. I am here to save you.”
I nod and begin to walk with the man. He grabs my arm and places it around his shoulders and helps me to his boat. It isn’t until we’re retreating from the island, making our way through the surf that he speaks again.
“I hope the mask, and coconut served you well?”
“Yes they di…how did you know about the mask and coconut?” I ask. My confusion is evident because the wrinkled man chuckles.
“Well, I gave them to you, of course. I am your savior,” he says calmly.
“Forgive me for not being more grateful. You’re a very nice man, but I don’t know you! If I had any other option I probably wouldn’t just climb into your boat!! BUT, as you can tell, I’m a little flustered and not in my right mind!”
Again the man grins and gently laughs.
“My friend, you were washed up on shore. How you arrived there is a mystery to me as well. I am a teacher on a neighboring island, and being a creature of adventure, I enjoy kayaking around the islands while I study.”
I’m silent.
“When I saw you washed up on shore I came to your aid. You were breathing, but I couldn’t leave you lying near the water, and my kayak is not big enough for two, so I dragged you further up the beach and left with you a few items.”
“Why did you have a mask?” I asked.
“ I often stop off on various islands on my adventures and use it to protect my face from the insects. I figured it might protect you from the sun. I hope it didn’t cause too much panic.”
“A little,” I say. “The coconut makes sense. But a dictionary?”
“As I said, I’m a teacher, and the study of words is my passion. A word that is of the utmost importance to me, which I have underlined in my dictionary, was very appropriate to use in this situation.”
I begin to understand, so I chime in and finish his story. “You bent the corner of that page! The page that contained your favorite word. SAVIOR. You wanted me to find that word and know that help was coming.”
“Yes, friend. You are correct.” He shows his biggest smile yet.
“I must admit, I saw your underlined word, yet didn’t believe. I’m still struggling with it. It doesn’t seem believable.”
“But yet it happened, friend! I am here with you. You’ve been rescued.”
We grow silent. The only sound is the ocean’s foam against the boat’s aluminum siding.
“Thank you for saving me.”
“You’re welcome, friend. Even in the darkest moments, there are signs of hope all around you. After all, you just escaped an island with a mask, coconut and dictionary, my friend.”
“Escape? No. I’ve been saved.”
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Friday, March 4, 2011
Intro
I’ve gone back and forth, mainly in my head, on how to start this post. I’ve typed, backspaced, and typed some more, and unfortunately for all of you, this is what I’ve come up with. Two run-on sentences explaining my struggle to produce a grabbing introduction. So, now that I’ve explained absolutely nothing, and probably wasted 45 seconds of your time (assuming you’re as slow of a reader as I am), I’ll try to jump right in to something that I’m calling Project Countdown.
Recently, some of my best thinking has come under the influence of coffee. Not just any coffee. 4 scoops of coarsely ground whole bean Columbian coffee, made with boiling water, stirred, and gently French Pressed. The 4 cups of coffee usually gets me through the last 3 hours of work, but tonight, it did something different for me. Out of nowhere came an idea. More than an idea. An urge. An itch. I wanted to write. Project Countdown.
There is something about me, and I’m willing to bet it stretches beyond just me, that loves a countdown. We’re always doing it. Something about looking forward to what’s to come. The suspense, anticipation and excitement about the future. Countdown’s can be good, bad, nerve-wracking, exhilarating, and down-right fun! What I want to do is write about countdowns. I’m open to taking ideas from any readers out there, but if not, I think I have a few ideas that will keep these fingers typing.
Project Countdown: Day 151 of 180 – Destination April 2nd
I’ve been engaged for 151 days, not that I’ve been counting. I have 29 more days until I get to marry my best friend, and put this 180 countdown to rest. I don’t think I’ve ever lived a 6-month span that went as fast, AND slow, as these last months have. When I think of all the stuff we’ve done to plan our wedding and how far we’ve come, it seems like the time has flown by. On the other hand, waiting and wanting so bad to spend every minute with the love of your life, and having to wait 180 days to start that life-long journey together…6 months seems like 6 years.
People told us right when we got engaged to soak up every minute of engaged life, and to cherish this time. “Don’t wish it away,” is what they’d say. I wracked my brain, jumbled my thoughts and tried to figure out why they talked like that? The only thing I could do was heed their advice. After all, the people giving this advice had been there before. They’d already done this whole engaged thing. So, making sure that I didn’t “wish this time away,” I made sure I steered clear from wishing wells, birthday cakes, magic lamps, and shooting stars, and so far it must be working, because I’m still in this countdown, and it’s not April 2nd, so I think I’m doing this right.
Once this is over (29 days from now, if you didn’t catch that earlier) and I’m married to the coolest girl in the world, I wonder what advice we’ll give to newly engaged couples? I hope I’m not the one that says, “Don’t wish this time away,” because honestly, I don’t get what that means. On the other hand, I don’t want to be the tough guy and pretend that I hated being engaged. You know what, I think I’m just going to keep my mouth shut. I’m not sure I’ll give any advice. Part of the excitement of a countdown is not knowing what’s coming. think I’ll just smile, and say “let the countdown begin.”
Recently, some of my best thinking has come under the influence of coffee. Not just any coffee. 4 scoops of coarsely ground whole bean Columbian coffee, made with boiling water, stirred, and gently French Pressed. The 4 cups of coffee usually gets me through the last 3 hours of work, but tonight, it did something different for me. Out of nowhere came an idea. More than an idea. An urge. An itch. I wanted to write. Project Countdown.
There is something about me, and I’m willing to bet it stretches beyond just me, that loves a countdown. We’re always doing it. Something about looking forward to what’s to come. The suspense, anticipation and excitement about the future. Countdown’s can be good, bad, nerve-wracking, exhilarating, and down-right fun! What I want to do is write about countdowns. I’m open to taking ideas from any readers out there, but if not, I think I have a few ideas that will keep these fingers typing.
Project Countdown: Day 151 of 180 – Destination April 2nd
I’ve been engaged for 151 days, not that I’ve been counting. I have 29 more days until I get to marry my best friend, and put this 180 countdown to rest. I don’t think I’ve ever lived a 6-month span that went as fast, AND slow, as these last months have. When I think of all the stuff we’ve done to plan our wedding and how far we’ve come, it seems like the time has flown by. On the other hand, waiting and wanting so bad to spend every minute with the love of your life, and having to wait 180 days to start that life-long journey together…6 months seems like 6 years.
People told us right when we got engaged to soak up every minute of engaged life, and to cherish this time. “Don’t wish it away,” is what they’d say. I wracked my brain, jumbled my thoughts and tried to figure out why they talked like that? The only thing I could do was heed their advice. After all, the people giving this advice had been there before. They’d already done this whole engaged thing. So, making sure that I didn’t “wish this time away,” I made sure I steered clear from wishing wells, birthday cakes, magic lamps, and shooting stars, and so far it must be working, because I’m still in this countdown, and it’s not April 2nd, so I think I’m doing this right.
Once this is over (29 days from now, if you didn’t catch that earlier) and I’m married to the coolest girl in the world, I wonder what advice we’ll give to newly engaged couples? I hope I’m not the one that says, “Don’t wish this time away,” because honestly, I don’t get what that means. On the other hand, I don’t want to be the tough guy and pretend that I hated being engaged. You know what, I think I’m just going to keep my mouth shut. I’m not sure I’ll give any advice. Part of the excitement of a countdown is not knowing what’s coming. think I’ll just smile, and say “let the countdown begin.”
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
i had a dream...
I was nannying. Standing in the living room looking into the kitchen where Dwight (the dad) and Eli (the child) stood. Dwight wanted to go run some errands and was telling Eli to go get ready so he could go with him. I thought, "if they're leaving...what am I gonna do? Just sit here?" I snuck closer to the kitchen to hear the conversation when the door bell rang. Eli went to the door and unlocked it, but Dwight said, "Eli I’ll get it, don't let them see you." he tried to hide himself but was standing directly in front of one of the windows. i laughed. Dwight approached the door and gently swung it open to find two men in gray electrician suits standing on the front step. both men had scruffy beards and now that I think about it, looked as though they could have been twins. man #1 said, "we're contractors who helped build your house, we know you have money in your wallet, give it to us." the men walked in the house and headed toward the kitchen. Dwight quickly reacted and pushed the button on the alarm system that was supposed to notify the police. the two men simply laughed...apparently they had already snipped the wires...the police weren't going to come. the scraggly criminals snooped through the kitchen trying to find things of value and began taking everything they could find. I'm scared. my mind is racing thinking of something heroic to do. I don't think of anything. man #1 starts taking some of the goods out to their van which leaves man #2 alone with the three of us. i see Dwight open up the cutlery drawer and grab two forks...not the knives...he grabbed the forks. he slipped one into each sleeve. he was plotting an attack. i waited near by so when he began his assault on the burglars I was ready to join in. man #2 turned his back and began snooping through another drawer. Out of nowhere Dwight tackled the man and started poking the man’s hands with the forks. Dwight’s tactics were confusing me. Out of all the places to stab the potential murderer he stabbed him in the hands. I looked at Dwight thinking, "you've gotta be kidding me..." I ran over and shoved Dwight off of man #2 and started beating the man repeatedly in the face. After several hard punches to his head, the man lay there motionless. Scary music started to play in the background as man #1 reentered the house...pointing a gun...right at Eli. Now things were serious. Dwight quickly grabbed Eli and ran out of the house into the garage and hid behind their car. i followed. man #1 ran out the front door and trapped us in the garage. he opened fire, trying desperately to end our lives. I sat there, not even ducking behind anything, knowing that i wasn't going to get shot, God was on my side. A second gun appeared out of no where. It was a strange gun that shot tiny bombs that had to be loaded one by one into the barrel. Once the man was out of his regular bullets and had to reload I popped out and fired at him. Direct hit to the shoulder blade. He dropped his gun. He let out a hideous cry and staggered closer. I calmly loaded another mini bomb into the gun and fired again. Direct hit to the abdomen. Man #1 let out another cry. I reloaded. Fired again and hit the man in the leg, rendering him incapable of moving any further. He dropped to the ground. I ran into the backyard and see several tiny children escaping from inside the nanny house where they had been held captive by the two contractors. Apparently when they built the house they had fashioned a prison in the bowels of the home to hold little children. I shouted loudly for the kids to follow me to freedom, however, a river separated us from the shore we so desperately sought after. I jumped in the river, fighting the tide and carried each kid to safety. I don't know what happened to anyone else in the story, because once I crossed the river, I didn't go back...in fact...that is when i woke up.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Mental DVR
Do you ever wish that you had a TiVo, implanted in your brain? That you could push a button inside your ear that would start recording everything you’re seeing and hearing? That you could pause special moments and just drink them in? That you could rewind, and relive the hilarious minutes of everyday? Ok, ok. I know this sounds exactly like the movie Click, but I’m not talking about fast-forwarding through the dull parts of life. I’m talking about relishing all the awesome moments we get to experience everyday. I wish I could replay the story about I’m about to tell you. I have a feeling it would be a new YouTube sensation.
As I paced back from the men’s bathroom, on the third floor of my office building, I turned the corner and began the final stretch of my walk back to my desk. About 15 yards away, there was an average looking lady, with scraggly blonde hair walking toward me. The 15 yard gap is an awkward distance to deal with, especially when we were the only two walking down the center aisle of our office. Do I acknowledge her? Do I smile? Do I say “good morning?” Do I put my head down and ignore her existence? All of these thoughts trampled throughout my mind in a matter of a second, which eventually led to my split-second decision to do whatever was natural. (whatever the heck that means).
As the gap between us shortened, we made eye contact and a gentle smile brushed across her face. I remained stoic and continued my final few paces before I reached her, not completely ignoring her, but not letting my green eyes tear her heart from within her.
The gap was 5 feet now. I looked at her. She looked at me. She stopped dead in her tracks, not because she was awe-struck by me, but because she ran directly into the side of her cubicle, making a loud thud echo across the office. Completely embarrassed, the average girl looked at me. I tried to pretend I hadn’t just seen her walk directly into the side of a stationary, inanimate object, but she knew that I had indeed witnessed her embarrassing mishap. Without a moment’s hesitation, she opened her mouth and nervously spoke these words to me: “I don’t have any depth perception.”
Was she serious? Did she really have some sort of depth perception disability that hindered her from walking like a normal human being? Or, was my breath taking presence so debilitating to her that she lost all primal motor functions and reverted back to early childhood when she didn’t know how to walk? I didn’t have much time to react. In an effort to save some her some ounce of dignity, I stifled back the eruption of laughter that was about to burst out of me and restrained to letting out a calm chuckle.
The average looking girl, with straggly blonde hair doesn’t look at me anymore. Or maybe she is looking at me, but she has crossed eyes, which caused her to run into the side of a cubicle. I guess I’ll never know.
As I paced back from the men’s bathroom, on the third floor of my office building, I turned the corner and began the final stretch of my walk back to my desk. About 15 yards away, there was an average looking lady, with scraggly blonde hair walking toward me. The 15 yard gap is an awkward distance to deal with, especially when we were the only two walking down the center aisle of our office. Do I acknowledge her? Do I smile? Do I say “good morning?” Do I put my head down and ignore her existence? All of these thoughts trampled throughout my mind in a matter of a second, which eventually led to my split-second decision to do whatever was natural. (whatever the heck that means).
As the gap between us shortened, we made eye contact and a gentle smile brushed across her face. I remained stoic and continued my final few paces before I reached her, not completely ignoring her, but not letting my green eyes tear her heart from within her.
The gap was 5 feet now. I looked at her. She looked at me. She stopped dead in her tracks, not because she was awe-struck by me, but because she ran directly into the side of her cubicle, making a loud thud echo across the office. Completely embarrassed, the average girl looked at me. I tried to pretend I hadn’t just seen her walk directly into the side of a stationary, inanimate object, but she knew that I had indeed witnessed her embarrassing mishap. Without a moment’s hesitation, she opened her mouth and nervously spoke these words to me: “I don’t have any depth perception.”
Was she serious? Did she really have some sort of depth perception disability that hindered her from walking like a normal human being? Or, was my breath taking presence so debilitating to her that she lost all primal motor functions and reverted back to early childhood when she didn’t know how to walk? I didn’t have much time to react. In an effort to save some her some ounce of dignity, I stifled back the eruption of laughter that was about to burst out of me and restrained to letting out a calm chuckle.
The average looking girl, with straggly blonde hair doesn’t look at me anymore. Or maybe she is looking at me, but she has crossed eyes, which caused her to run into the side of a cubicle. I guess I’ll never know.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Kentucky Coleslaw
Kentucky Coleslaw jolted upright in his bed, his heart pounding, hair standing in every which direction, looking as though a hippo sat on his face all night. He hadn’t been sleeping well the last few days, in anticipation of his collegiate graduation. Kent is one of those worrier types. Someone that is so filled with doubt, and anxiety that he has a hard time just living his every day life. He has a great group of friends that care about him, and a loving family, but Kentucky failed to drink in the moments he was living, because he was too worried about moments that had yet to be lived.
His restless nights, filled with mind-numbing questioning of his future plans, just about drove Kentucky to insanity. He continued to toss and turn, wondering if his life had purpose, until the day of his graduation.
Due to all of the hours Kent spent worrying about a job, a future family, and all of the things that come with being an adult, he completely over looked the details of the graduation. Little did he know, the commencement ceremony was being held at Pickleberry Park, and not the Draconstein Memorial Auditorium. Kentucky showed up in his cap and gown and noticed that there weren’t any other cars in the Draconstein parking lot, and immediately started to panic. He tore threw the parking lot and headed to the auditorium where he found a small green post it note with the words, “Good morning. If you are here reading this note, then you are not at Pickleberry Park, WHERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE!!!” Kent’s heart sank and headed straight to the library where he could access the internet. As he sprinted to the computer lab, he remembered that he had his GPS in the car, but thought he should print off directions as well, just in case the GPS didn’t work. He ferociously tapped the keyboard as he entered the web address for mapquest so he could find directions to Pickleberry Park. Kent was so worried about getting lost, that he decided to go to google maps and print directions from there as well. He also printed off two alternate routes, and stopped at a gas station to get an atlas, to insure he could locate the park. After all of the worrying and over analyzing the dilemma, Kent turned on his GPS, which gave him perfect directions to the park. He spent so much time and energy worrying about the future that he hadn’t been taking time to live in the moment. He had back up plan after back up plan in place, just in case the GPS didn’t work, when he should have had faith that the GPS would do its job and guide him.
Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about the future that we don’t enjoy living the lives God has given us. We try to map out the course of our lives, and set up back up plans in case we need a plan B. Why is it that we worry about mapping out our lives, when we have a GPS to guide us? God already knows our final destination because he is the one that programmed us! Ok stick with me here. I’m trying to make this analogy work. Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. God has a plan for you. Even when we don’t know where we’re going, we have to trust that the GPS will tell us where to turn and get us there safely. That is how God operates with us. We have to trust, and have faith in the fact that he’s going to guide us down the path we’re supposed to go. My challenge to you is to soak up the everyday moments that God allows us to have. Don’t get caught up in what’s going to happen down the road. Live everyday to its fullest, not so that you may receive blessings and glory, but so that your faith may be rooted in the fact that Christ’s love for you is greater than anything you’ll ever experience, and that he has promised to guide you and never let you go.
His restless nights, filled with mind-numbing questioning of his future plans, just about drove Kentucky to insanity. He continued to toss and turn, wondering if his life had purpose, until the day of his graduation.
Due to all of the hours Kent spent worrying about a job, a future family, and all of the things that come with being an adult, he completely over looked the details of the graduation. Little did he know, the commencement ceremony was being held at Pickleberry Park, and not the Draconstein Memorial Auditorium. Kentucky showed up in his cap and gown and noticed that there weren’t any other cars in the Draconstein parking lot, and immediately started to panic. He tore threw the parking lot and headed to the auditorium where he found a small green post it note with the words, “Good morning. If you are here reading this note, then you are not at Pickleberry Park, WHERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE!!!” Kent’s heart sank and headed straight to the library where he could access the internet. As he sprinted to the computer lab, he remembered that he had his GPS in the car, but thought he should print off directions as well, just in case the GPS didn’t work. He ferociously tapped the keyboard as he entered the web address for mapquest so he could find directions to Pickleberry Park. Kent was so worried about getting lost, that he decided to go to google maps and print directions from there as well. He also printed off two alternate routes, and stopped at a gas station to get an atlas, to insure he could locate the park. After all of the worrying and over analyzing the dilemma, Kent turned on his GPS, which gave him perfect directions to the park. He spent so much time and energy worrying about the future that he hadn’t been taking time to live in the moment. He had back up plan after back up plan in place, just in case the GPS didn’t work, when he should have had faith that the GPS would do its job and guide him.
Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about the future that we don’t enjoy living the lives God has given us. We try to map out the course of our lives, and set up back up plans in case we need a plan B. Why is it that we worry about mapping out our lives, when we have a GPS to guide us? God already knows our final destination because he is the one that programmed us! Ok stick with me here. I’m trying to make this analogy work. Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. God has a plan for you. Even when we don’t know where we’re going, we have to trust that the GPS will tell us where to turn and get us there safely. That is how God operates with us. We have to trust, and have faith in the fact that he’s going to guide us down the path we’re supposed to go. My challenge to you is to soak up the everyday moments that God allows us to have. Don’t get caught up in what’s going to happen down the road. Live everyday to its fullest, not so that you may receive blessings and glory, but so that your faith may be rooted in the fact that Christ’s love for you is greater than anything you’ll ever experience, and that he has promised to guide you and never let you go.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Like Frosted Flakes
I’ve tossed and turned in my sleep for the past couple of nights, questioning whether or not I should use my workspace (blog) to declare some sort of enthusiastic pep-talk about how to live our lives in 2010. Some part of me wants to create some sort of rally cry that sparks pure emotion and causes everyone to strive to be all they can be. The other part of me wants to avoid the cliché new years resolution type of speech, and fall back on the harsh truth, that even if what I had to say created some interest or some sort of drive, that by the time February rolled around, it would be dead along with all of your other lame resolutions.
On the other hand, maybe what I have to say is worth something. Maybe I will be the one to break through and revolutionize resolutions. What are the chances that these words which are now being vigorously typed could stir up enough emotion to make a resolution become a lifestyle?
The crisis of whether or not I should voice my twenty-ten devotional, was leading to more restless nights. I woke up today, and decided that if I continue my current sleeping pattern (which has consisted of more tossing and turning, than actual sleep) that I would probably end up being that guy, by himself, at the movie theater, watching the midnight showing of the latest romantic-comedy, eating a bag of popcorn and drinking a large cherry Pepsi, because I had become an insane insomniac, that couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t decide whether or not to join the thousands of people that created new year’s resolutions. In fear of becoming that guy (although I do enjoy a chick flick every now and then), I made a resolution to make a new years resolution. Confusing, I know.
My new year’s resolution is to strive for greatness. I want to be great. Great at work, playing sports, when I’m with family, reading books, being a friend, writing, talking, thinking, loving, praying, laughing. When I’m doing all of the simple things in life, I want to be great! How does this happen? What kind of tangible, real life things can be applied to obtain such greatness? Whoa…great question. And the answer is…I have no idea. I really don’t. There isn’t a workout program, book or motivational speech that can help me achieve greatness. All I know is that God hasn’t called me to a live a life of mediocrity. He’s infused me with his joy and because of that, I know I have potential greatness coursing through every bone in my body. Look through the bible. Moses, Daniel, Joshua, the disciples. Ordinary people, used to do GREAT things.
Be great! Not so that you can receive the glory, but so that Christ may be seen through you.
On the other hand, maybe what I have to say is worth something. Maybe I will be the one to break through and revolutionize resolutions. What are the chances that these words which are now being vigorously typed could stir up enough emotion to make a resolution become a lifestyle?
The crisis of whether or not I should voice my twenty-ten devotional, was leading to more restless nights. I woke up today, and decided that if I continue my current sleeping pattern (which has consisted of more tossing and turning, than actual sleep) that I would probably end up being that guy, by himself, at the movie theater, watching the midnight showing of the latest romantic-comedy, eating a bag of popcorn and drinking a large cherry Pepsi, because I had become an insane insomniac, that couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t decide whether or not to join the thousands of people that created new year’s resolutions. In fear of becoming that guy (although I do enjoy a chick flick every now and then), I made a resolution to make a new years resolution. Confusing, I know.
My new year’s resolution is to strive for greatness. I want to be great. Great at work, playing sports, when I’m with family, reading books, being a friend, writing, talking, thinking, loving, praying, laughing. When I’m doing all of the simple things in life, I want to be great! How does this happen? What kind of tangible, real life things can be applied to obtain such greatness? Whoa…great question. And the answer is…I have no idea. I really don’t. There isn’t a workout program, book or motivational speech that can help me achieve greatness. All I know is that God hasn’t called me to a live a life of mediocrity. He’s infused me with his joy and because of that, I know I have potential greatness coursing through every bone in my body. Look through the bible. Moses, Daniel, Joshua, the disciples. Ordinary people, used to do GREAT things.
Be great! Not so that you can receive the glory, but so that Christ may be seen through you.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
a boy, a sword, and a princess: part two
It’s been about a year now,
since the Princess broke his heart.
It’s given the boy a healthy chance,
to have a brand new start.
But even though he left his home,
and the princess is far away.
He thinks about her smiling face,
every night and every day.
The boy has moved to a foreign land,
where no one knows his name.
No one knows the things he’s done,
or knows about his fame.
He graces the people of his town,
with smiles and good deeds.
And takes time to stop and talk,
And meet his people’s needs.
It didn’t take them very long,
To care about the boy.
The town had never been this pleased,
And never had so much joy.
The town’s love was not enough,
To clear the poor boys mind.
His dreams were of the princess,
He was forced to leave behind.
The boy would lay awake at night,
with the princess on his mind.
Wondering if he had done some wrong,
but nothing could he find.
His feelings hadn’t changed for her,
despite being sent away.
He vowed that he’d return to her,
and hoped she’d let him stay.
So, one fall morning he packed his bags,
and saddled up to ride.
The men and children waved goodbye
while all the women cried.
They asked him not to leave the town,
and begged for him to stay.
The boy just smiled and bowed his head,
and this is what he’d say.
“I thank you for your gentle words,
and tears that you have shed.
But after all I’m just a boy,
with jumbled thoughts up in my head.
I love a girl who broke my heart
and sent me on my way.
A girl who haunts my every dream,
throughout the night and day.
It’s stupid that I feel like this,
but I have to leave this land.
My heart can simply not survive,
unless I hold her hand.
Sometime soon this will make sense,
for I still have much to learn.
But do not fear, for I promise you,
someday I will return.”
With those last words, the boy rode off,
deep into the setting sun.
And though the boy had come this far,
his journey had just begun.
since the Princess broke his heart.
It’s given the boy a healthy chance,
to have a brand new start.
But even though he left his home,
and the princess is far away.
He thinks about her smiling face,
every night and every day.
The boy has moved to a foreign land,
where no one knows his name.
No one knows the things he’s done,
or knows about his fame.
He graces the people of his town,
with smiles and good deeds.
And takes time to stop and talk,
And meet his people’s needs.
It didn’t take them very long,
To care about the boy.
The town had never been this pleased,
And never had so much joy.
The town’s love was not enough,
To clear the poor boys mind.
His dreams were of the princess,
He was forced to leave behind.
The boy would lay awake at night,
with the princess on his mind.
Wondering if he had done some wrong,
but nothing could he find.
His feelings hadn’t changed for her,
despite being sent away.
He vowed that he’d return to her,
and hoped she’d let him stay.
So, one fall morning he packed his bags,
and saddled up to ride.
The men and children waved goodbye
while all the women cried.
They asked him not to leave the town,
and begged for him to stay.
The boy just smiled and bowed his head,
and this is what he’d say.
“I thank you for your gentle words,
and tears that you have shed.
But after all I’m just a boy,
with jumbled thoughts up in my head.
I love a girl who broke my heart
and sent me on my way.
A girl who haunts my every dream,
throughout the night and day.
It’s stupid that I feel like this,
but I have to leave this land.
My heart can simply not survive,
unless I hold her hand.
Sometime soon this will make sense,
for I still have much to learn.
But do not fear, for I promise you,
someday I will return.”
With those last words, the boy rode off,
deep into the setting sun.
And though the boy had come this far,
his journey had just begun.
a boy, a sword, and a princess: part one
(i wrote this about a year ago, and have recently written part two. i thought i would re-post this so you can remember whats happening in the story. hope you like it)
There once lived a boy who was handsome and tall,
who sacrificed himself for the safety of all.
Some called him Hero for the lives he had saved,
some called him Friend as he past and they waved.
He was famous in town, and loved in the land,
he had a smile in his eye and a sword in his hand.
The King even liked him, and gave him great things,
rubies, and emeralds, and diamonds, and rings.
Even with the fame, his character didn't crumble,
he remained brave, and loyal, and humble.
A beautiful princess also lived in this land,
and every noble men came seeking her hand.
The princess hated them and thought them a hassle,
and hired the boy to keep them from her castle.
The boy did his job and kept evil away,
drove off the noblemen all night and all day.
The princess was free from all the dirty men,
and the boy was happy to serve til the end.
The boy traveled with the princess, through rain and through snow,
to make sure she was safe, wherever she would go.
The boy had slayed dragons, and killed hundreds in war.
had captured the elves, and wrestled with boars.
He had battled with gnomes, in an unknown land,
Had boxed with the giants in lava quicksand.
In all of these feats he had never felt queasy,
but for once in his life he felt quite uneasy.
For deep in his heart he was falling in love,
with the princess, his boss, who watched from above.
The boy served the princess for over a year,
and did everything she asked without any fear.
So one day he decided to tell her how he felt,
He prayed, and hoped that her heart would melt.
"Princess, I Love You, let me be your King,
I'll fight for you forever, To you I'll always cling."
The princess started crying and slapped him in the face,
and told him he was fired and said she needed space.
"Please depart my castle boy, and leave me alone,
I simply do not love you, you can not have my throne."
The boy bowed his head, as a tear slipped to the floor,
he swiveled on his heal and headed toward the door.
But right before he left, he hoisted up his head,
he mustered up some strength and this is what he said,
"But who is going to save you, when I am gone?
And who will be your strength, when you're not strong?
Who will watch over you, when I've gone away?
And who will hold your hand day after day?
Who break your fall, and who will ease your pain?
Who will fight your battles, and shelter you from rain?
Someday soon you’ll realize what you’ve done,
You'll long to hear my voice, but I'll be long gone."
There once lived a boy who was handsome and tall,
who sacrificed himself for the safety of all.
Some called him Hero for the lives he had saved,
some called him Friend as he past and they waved.
He was famous in town, and loved in the land,
he had a smile in his eye and a sword in his hand.
The King even liked him, and gave him great things,
rubies, and emeralds, and diamonds, and rings.
Even with the fame, his character didn't crumble,
he remained brave, and loyal, and humble.
A beautiful princess also lived in this land,
and every noble men came seeking her hand.
The princess hated them and thought them a hassle,
and hired the boy to keep them from her castle.
The boy did his job and kept evil away,
drove off the noblemen all night and all day.
The princess was free from all the dirty men,
and the boy was happy to serve til the end.
The boy traveled with the princess, through rain and through snow,
to make sure she was safe, wherever she would go.
The boy had slayed dragons, and killed hundreds in war.
had captured the elves, and wrestled with boars.
He had battled with gnomes, in an unknown land,
Had boxed with the giants in lava quicksand.
In all of these feats he had never felt queasy,
but for once in his life he felt quite uneasy.
For deep in his heart he was falling in love,
with the princess, his boss, who watched from above.
The boy served the princess for over a year,
and did everything she asked without any fear.
So one day he decided to tell her how he felt,
He prayed, and hoped that her heart would melt.
"Princess, I Love You, let me be your King,
I'll fight for you forever, To you I'll always cling."
The princess started crying and slapped him in the face,
and told him he was fired and said she needed space.
"Please depart my castle boy, and leave me alone,
I simply do not love you, you can not have my throne."
The boy bowed his head, as a tear slipped to the floor,
he swiveled on his heal and headed toward the door.
But right before he left, he hoisted up his head,
he mustered up some strength and this is what he said,
"But who is going to save you, when I am gone?
And who will be your strength, when you're not strong?
Who will watch over you, when I've gone away?
And who will hold your hand day after day?
Who break your fall, and who will ease your pain?
Who will fight your battles, and shelter you from rain?
Someday soon you’ll realize what you’ve done,
You'll long to hear my voice, but I'll be long gone."
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Billion Dollar Meltdown
Tiger Woods. The World’s Greatest Golfer. The first athlete (if you want to call golfers athletes…that’s a whole different topic…don’t get me started) ever, to earn $1,000,000,000. Beautiful wife. Lovely kids. Sounds like he has everything he would ever need, right? Well, apparently not. Tiger has allegedly had relations with twelve different women across the country, and chances are there are more.
First of all, let me make this clear. I’m not going to hate on Tiger Woods just because of his adulterous lifestyle. You can ask anyone I’ve ever talked to about Tiger, how I feel about him. I can’t stand the guy. I’d rather cheer for the Packers then cheer for Tiger Woods. He could put the ball within 6 inches of the pin, and be in first by 37 strokes, but by his body language you would think he had just put his 12th shot in the drink. Don’t get me wrong. He IS the greatest golfer ever to play the game. He is amazing. But…he’s also a huge baby, who has a temper, and is unimpressed with everything surrounding him. I can’t stand watching him sulk down the fairway, with his huge droopy lips suffocating the rest of his face. Dude. Smile.
Secondly, I’ve come to the conclusion that if you don’t act like a real man, then you don’t deserve a manly nickname like “Tiger.” Hmmm. What is an animal name that suits him better. Something stupid and smelly. Ahhh yes! “Pig Woods.” I like the sound of that. Or, let’s call him by his real name: Eldrick Tont Woods. Whoa…No wonder he needed a nickname. Jeepers.
The part of me that has always disliked Eldrick is happy that his private life has been put under a magnifying glass. It’s proven everything I’ve thought about the guy from the beginning. He is a sad man, unimpressed by everything around him.
A news report today says that Pig’s doctor was caught, and arrested back in October by Canadian police, as he had possession of a certain strain of HGH (human growth hormone). Although Eldrick’s name has not yet been mentioned, we can’t help but speculate that he may have received some of these drugs.
So, without further ado, we will now add Eldrick to the list with Kobe Bryant, Roger Clemens, Wilt Chamberlin, Barry Bonds and countless other professionals, who have tainted their careers with adulterous scandal and alleged performance enhancing drug use.
I’d like to say that all along my dislike of Eldrick was somehow linked to the fact that I knew he was someday going to cheat on his wife and that he was taking performance enhancing drugs, but, alas, I cannot say that. It’s depressing to see another one of the World’s role models go down like this, regardless of my personal feelings toward him.
One billion dollars can buy you a lot of stuff, but it can’t buy you happiness.
First of all, let me make this clear. I’m not going to hate on Tiger Woods just because of his adulterous lifestyle. You can ask anyone I’ve ever talked to about Tiger, how I feel about him. I can’t stand the guy. I’d rather cheer for the Packers then cheer for Tiger Woods. He could put the ball within 6 inches of the pin, and be in first by 37 strokes, but by his body language you would think he had just put his 12th shot in the drink. Don’t get me wrong. He IS the greatest golfer ever to play the game. He is amazing. But…he’s also a huge baby, who has a temper, and is unimpressed with everything surrounding him. I can’t stand watching him sulk down the fairway, with his huge droopy lips suffocating the rest of his face. Dude. Smile.
Secondly, I’ve come to the conclusion that if you don’t act like a real man, then you don’t deserve a manly nickname like “Tiger.” Hmmm. What is an animal name that suits him better. Something stupid and smelly. Ahhh yes! “Pig Woods.” I like the sound of that. Or, let’s call him by his real name: Eldrick Tont Woods. Whoa…No wonder he needed a nickname. Jeepers.
The part of me that has always disliked Eldrick is happy that his private life has been put under a magnifying glass. It’s proven everything I’ve thought about the guy from the beginning. He is a sad man, unimpressed by everything around him.
A news report today says that Pig’s doctor was caught, and arrested back in October by Canadian police, as he had possession of a certain strain of HGH (human growth hormone). Although Eldrick’s name has not yet been mentioned, we can’t help but speculate that he may have received some of these drugs.
So, without further ado, we will now add Eldrick to the list with Kobe Bryant, Roger Clemens, Wilt Chamberlin, Barry Bonds and countless other professionals, who have tainted their careers with adulterous scandal and alleged performance enhancing drug use.
I’d like to say that all along my dislike of Eldrick was somehow linked to the fact that I knew he was someday going to cheat on his wife and that he was taking performance enhancing drugs, but, alas, I cannot say that. It’s depressing to see another one of the World’s role models go down like this, regardless of my personal feelings toward him.
One billion dollars can buy you a lot of stuff, but it can’t buy you happiness.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Chapter 3
Baby I can See Your Halo
In college, I spent days upon days playing video games. At the time, the video games were a mere form of social entertainment, that preoccupied my time from the inevitable task at hand…homework. But as I look back, the countless number of hours spent shooting battle rifles, throwing plasma grenades, and being the wheelman behind a Warthog, have not gone to waste. There are applicable lessons that can be taken from playing video games. I suppose I should be clearer. When I say that I played video games, I mean that I played Halo. Halo 2 and Halo 3. Not to toot my own horn, but most players would say that I was the best and most feared opponent at Northwestern College. I say that, to say this. I know my stuff when it comes to Halo. So, when I use Halo as yet another metaphor of love, just believe me.
While playing Halo, there are a few things you need to know. Besides the actual button configuration on your controller, there are different items on the screen that are crucial to your survival. Number one. Your regenerating shield. This is located at the top of the screen and notifies you of how much life you have left. Number two. Your ammunition. This is located in the upper right corner of your screen, and notifies you of how many bullets you have left in your weapon. And finally, number three. Your radar. This is located in the bottom left corner of your screen, and notifies you of your teammates, and enemies. Each of these three things is very important to keep an eye on if you want to be a successful Halo player. I believe that these things can translate, or symbolize things in our romantic lives.
REGENERATING SHIELD
Battle/Battlefield = battlefield of love
Shield = heart/emotions
Grenade = breakup
There are times where you’re going to go into battle and come out wounded. You will be out there fighting with everything you have, but will get hit by a grenade from out of nowhere and be left hurting, broken. This is where the regenerating shield is so helpful. You can hunker down, regroup and get ready to do battle again. However, it’s not safe or healthy to run back out into battle when you’re still hurt. You’ll die. Next time you’re hurt, make sure your shield is fully recovered before you rejoin the fight.
AMMUNITION
Battle/Battlefield = battlefield of love
Ammo = game (like, dang man, you got mad game)
You can’t expect to win a battle if you don’t have ammunition…translation…you can’t win someone over if you don’t spit mad game. Be sure you have fresh ammunition before you trying winning a battle. If you’re unprepared, you will get shot and you will die.
RADAR
There are two types of people that the radar will pick up, teammates and non-teammates. Teammates appear as yellow dots, and non-teammates appear as red dots. When traveling through the battlefield, the radar lets you know who is on your team, and who is on the other team. Sometimes, on the battlefield of love, it is difficult to differentiate between people who like you, and people who just want to be friends. It’s hard to tell if they are a yellow dot (a friend) or a red dot (someone who is in hot pursuit of you). Unfortunately, that is just part of the game. There will be times when someone who you thought was in hot pursuit, ends up being nothing more than “just a friend.” Or, someone who you thought of was “just a friend” could be hunting you down on the battlefield of love, looking to trap you in a corner and…well I will let your imagination take it from there.
Basically what I’m trying to say is…your radar can only get you so far. It can detect friends, and potential interests, but the end result is in your hands. You need to explore the battlefield and make sure that the yellow dot around the corner isn’t just a red dot in disguise.
Had I spent more time doing homework, and less time playing Halo, sure, I would have gotten better grades, but would I be as wise as I am now? Heck no! I wouldn’t know to let my heart heal before I put it on the line again. I wouldn’t know that I need mad game in order to impress the ladies. I wouldn’t know how to read my radar. I wouldn’t have earned the honor of being named the best Halo player on campus either.
Thank you Halo, for my college education!
Nerds and Romantics around the world UNITE! Video games have just become one with love.
In college, I spent days upon days playing video games. At the time, the video games were a mere form of social entertainment, that preoccupied my time from the inevitable task at hand…homework. But as I look back, the countless number of hours spent shooting battle rifles, throwing plasma grenades, and being the wheelman behind a Warthog, have not gone to waste. There are applicable lessons that can be taken from playing video games. I suppose I should be clearer. When I say that I played video games, I mean that I played Halo. Halo 2 and Halo 3. Not to toot my own horn, but most players would say that I was the best and most feared opponent at Northwestern College. I say that, to say this. I know my stuff when it comes to Halo. So, when I use Halo as yet another metaphor of love, just believe me.
While playing Halo, there are a few things you need to know. Besides the actual button configuration on your controller, there are different items on the screen that are crucial to your survival. Number one. Your regenerating shield. This is located at the top of the screen and notifies you of how much life you have left. Number two. Your ammunition. This is located in the upper right corner of your screen, and notifies you of how many bullets you have left in your weapon. And finally, number three. Your radar. This is located in the bottom left corner of your screen, and notifies you of your teammates, and enemies. Each of these three things is very important to keep an eye on if you want to be a successful Halo player. I believe that these things can translate, or symbolize things in our romantic lives.
REGENERATING SHIELD
Battle/Battlefield = battlefield of love
Shield = heart/emotions
Grenade = breakup
There are times where you’re going to go into battle and come out wounded. You will be out there fighting with everything you have, but will get hit by a grenade from out of nowhere and be left hurting, broken. This is where the regenerating shield is so helpful. You can hunker down, regroup and get ready to do battle again. However, it’s not safe or healthy to run back out into battle when you’re still hurt. You’ll die. Next time you’re hurt, make sure your shield is fully recovered before you rejoin the fight.
AMMUNITION
Battle/Battlefield = battlefield of love
Ammo = game (like, dang man, you got mad game)
You can’t expect to win a battle if you don’t have ammunition…translation…you can’t win someone over if you don’t spit mad game. Be sure you have fresh ammunition before you trying winning a battle. If you’re unprepared, you will get shot and you will die.
RADAR
There are two types of people that the radar will pick up, teammates and non-teammates. Teammates appear as yellow dots, and non-teammates appear as red dots. When traveling through the battlefield, the radar lets you know who is on your team, and who is on the other team. Sometimes, on the battlefield of love, it is difficult to differentiate between people who like you, and people who just want to be friends. It’s hard to tell if they are a yellow dot (a friend) or a red dot (someone who is in hot pursuit of you). Unfortunately, that is just part of the game. There will be times when someone who you thought was in hot pursuit, ends up being nothing more than “just a friend.” Or, someone who you thought of was “just a friend” could be hunting you down on the battlefield of love, looking to trap you in a corner and…well I will let your imagination take it from there.
Basically what I’m trying to say is…your radar can only get you so far. It can detect friends, and potential interests, but the end result is in your hands. You need to explore the battlefield and make sure that the yellow dot around the corner isn’t just a red dot in disguise.
Had I spent more time doing homework, and less time playing Halo, sure, I would have gotten better grades, but would I be as wise as I am now? Heck no! I wouldn’t know to let my heart heal before I put it on the line again. I wouldn’t know that I need mad game in order to impress the ladies. I wouldn’t know how to read my radar. I wouldn’t have earned the honor of being named the best Halo player on campus either.
Thank you Halo, for my college education!
Nerds and Romantics around the world UNITE! Video games have just become one with love.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Chapter 2
Take the Shot
There are times in everyone’s life where decisions must be made. Choices, not only about life, but also about love. Making choices that are linked to romantic feelings can be some of the hardest decisions we have the privilege of making. The great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” All along I thought this was talking about sports, but I’m convinced this is talking about LOVE. Who would have thought that a hockey player would know so much about romance?
Maybe I’m just speaking from personal experience, but I’m pretty sure everyone from the beginning of time has had a crush on someone. However, I really don’t like the word crush. What does that even mean? It’s dumb. The word crush means to destroy or squash. Why would you ever want to squash someone you like? Stupid. So we are going to revert back to the chapter one. Eggs in a basket. Everyone has experienced that suffocating feeling, when all of the air evacuates your lungs because the girl (or guy) of your dreams just walked into the room. Everyone knows the feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest like a lion trying to escape from a cage. This is what it feels like when you’ve placed an egg in someone’s basket. The journey has begun.
There comes a point during the journey that a huge leap needs to be made. I could be putting eggs in a girl’s basket that doesn’t even know I exist. Egg placing isn’t always mutual. There is a pivotal moment in a relationship where the egg placement becomes intentional. This is known as a DTR. What is a DTR you might ask? Well, there are several different interpretations to the acronym. DTR:
- Determine the Relationship
- Discuss the Relationship
- Dispute the Relationship
- Declare the Relationship
- Delicious Taco Restaurant
DTRs happen at different points in a relationship for different people. Some guys will meet a girl and ask her on a date the same night. Some guys will get to know a girl and finally express their feelings for them months or even years later. Is there a right or wrong way to do this? No. Just different ways.
Most girls aren’t going to put themselves on the line, and initiate the DTR. A girl could be head over heals for a guy, patiently waiting for him to ask her on a date, but never let on that they are interested. Confusing right? RIGHT! Initiation of the relationship 95 out of 100 times is going to be by the guy. Putting your heart out on the line can be tough. It definitely comes easier for some, but I assure you, any guy has the ability to show emotion and sweep a girl off her feet.
. Here is the rule, and where the new analogy really takes off. I know Wayne played hockey, but I’m going to take his quote to the basketball court. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So…take the shot. Let her know how you feel! Go for it! Sweep her off her feet! If the shot is open, take it. Don’t force it, or rush it, but wait for the right time, get set, and take the shot. I know, I know, sometimes it’s not that simple. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule. Here are some things you might run into. All of the situations will be placed in the masculine setting, but the same principles apply for females.
What if the girl whose basket I’m placing eggs in, has a boyfriend?
Be careful. However, sometimes you have to get the steal before you can take a shot. Just because she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean she’s gone for good. Play good defense, steal her away, and take the shot.
What if she doesn’t know I exist?
Be patient. Sometimes you have to sit on the bench for a while before you get noticed. Keep working at it though. Do things that get you noticed (in a good way!). You’ll get your opportunity someday. Just don’t be scared to take the shot once you’re off the bench.
What if she doesn’t like me?
Stay strong. Getting rejected is a bad feeling, but at least you took the shot. Keep working on your moves. Don’t try the same thing twice, or you’ll just get blocked again. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you get a good shot off. If you get rejected three times though, you should probably stop shooting.
What if she’s a great friend and I don’t want to ruin that?
Shoot it! This usually takes them off guard, but it’s when you have the most open shot. Like I said earlier, a girl could be head over heals for you, but never show interest. This could be the case with your friend. You just have to decide whether or not she’s worth the risk. It could be awkward after, but if you’re as great of friends as you think you are, your friendship should stand the test.
What if she has 16 toes, wears a patch over her left eye, and smells like Shrek?
No advice
What if she likes me, but I don’t like her?
Pass the ball. Don’t pump-fake, or even think about shooting the ball. Divert her attention elsewhere by getting the ball out of your hands. Don’t let her think there is even a chance. It’s not fair to her, if you lead her on. If she is as rare as a blue footed alligator, she might initiate and take a shot at your hoop. If you truly don’t like her, BLOCK that crap and shake your finger like Dikembe Mutumbo. But, if you think there might be a chance that you could place some eggs in her basket…go for it.
Take Gretzky’s advice and don’t live your love life on the bench. Get out there and take some shots. Being in the game and getting rejected is better than sitting on the bench. And who knows…the next shot you take might be a beautiful swoosh!
There are times in everyone’s life where decisions must be made. Choices, not only about life, but also about love. Making choices that are linked to romantic feelings can be some of the hardest decisions we have the privilege of making. The great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” All along I thought this was talking about sports, but I’m convinced this is talking about LOVE. Who would have thought that a hockey player would know so much about romance?
Maybe I’m just speaking from personal experience, but I’m pretty sure everyone from the beginning of time has had a crush on someone. However, I really don’t like the word crush. What does that even mean? It’s dumb. The word crush means to destroy or squash. Why would you ever want to squash someone you like? Stupid. So we are going to revert back to the chapter one. Eggs in a basket. Everyone has experienced that suffocating feeling, when all of the air evacuates your lungs because the girl (or guy) of your dreams just walked into the room. Everyone knows the feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest like a lion trying to escape from a cage. This is what it feels like when you’ve placed an egg in someone’s basket. The journey has begun.
There comes a point during the journey that a huge leap needs to be made. I could be putting eggs in a girl’s basket that doesn’t even know I exist. Egg placing isn’t always mutual. There is a pivotal moment in a relationship where the egg placement becomes intentional. This is known as a DTR. What is a DTR you might ask? Well, there are several different interpretations to the acronym. DTR:
- Determine the Relationship
- Discuss the Relationship
- Dispute the Relationship
- Declare the Relationship
- Delicious Taco Restaurant
DTRs happen at different points in a relationship for different people. Some guys will meet a girl and ask her on a date the same night. Some guys will get to know a girl and finally express their feelings for them months or even years later. Is there a right or wrong way to do this? No. Just different ways.
Most girls aren’t going to put themselves on the line, and initiate the DTR. A girl could be head over heals for a guy, patiently waiting for him to ask her on a date, but never let on that they are interested. Confusing right? RIGHT! Initiation of the relationship 95 out of 100 times is going to be by the guy. Putting your heart out on the line can be tough. It definitely comes easier for some, but I assure you, any guy has the ability to show emotion and sweep a girl off her feet.
. Here is the rule, and where the new analogy really takes off. I know Wayne played hockey, but I’m going to take his quote to the basketball court. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So…take the shot. Let her know how you feel! Go for it! Sweep her off her feet! If the shot is open, take it. Don’t force it, or rush it, but wait for the right time, get set, and take the shot. I know, I know, sometimes it’s not that simple. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule. Here are some things you might run into. All of the situations will be placed in the masculine setting, but the same principles apply for females.
What if the girl whose basket I’m placing eggs in, has a boyfriend?
Be careful. However, sometimes you have to get the steal before you can take a shot. Just because she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean she’s gone for good. Play good defense, steal her away, and take the shot.
What if she doesn’t know I exist?
Be patient. Sometimes you have to sit on the bench for a while before you get noticed. Keep working at it though. Do things that get you noticed (in a good way!). You’ll get your opportunity someday. Just don’t be scared to take the shot once you’re off the bench.
What if she doesn’t like me?
Stay strong. Getting rejected is a bad feeling, but at least you took the shot. Keep working on your moves. Don’t try the same thing twice, or you’ll just get blocked again. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you get a good shot off. If you get rejected three times though, you should probably stop shooting.
What if she’s a great friend and I don’t want to ruin that?
Shoot it! This usually takes them off guard, but it’s when you have the most open shot. Like I said earlier, a girl could be head over heals for you, but never show interest. This could be the case with your friend. You just have to decide whether or not she’s worth the risk. It could be awkward after, but if you’re as great of friends as you think you are, your friendship should stand the test.
What if she has 16 toes, wears a patch over her left eye, and smells like Shrek?
No advice
What if she likes me, but I don’t like her?
Pass the ball. Don’t pump-fake, or even think about shooting the ball. Divert her attention elsewhere by getting the ball out of your hands. Don’t let her think there is even a chance. It’s not fair to her, if you lead her on. If she is as rare as a blue footed alligator, she might initiate and take a shot at your hoop. If you truly don’t like her, BLOCK that crap and shake your finger like Dikembe Mutumbo. But, if you think there might be a chance that you could place some eggs in her basket…go for it.
Take Gretzky’s advice and don’t live your love life on the bench. Get out there and take some shots. Being in the game and getting rejected is better than sitting on the bench. And who knows…the next shot you take might be a beautiful swoosh!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Chapter 1
I’ve been joking with my friends for a while, that I would write a book about relationships, and I think it’s finally time to write a little excerpt.
Eggs in a Basket
Every person in the world has two things; a basket and a carton, filled with one dozen eggs. The basket represents YOU. Everything about you. Your personality, your looks, your beliefs. The eggs represent bits of your heart that contain romantic feeling. The eggs are to be given out, or put into others baskets, as you see fit. The more eggs you put into someone’s basket, the more romantic feelings you have for them. The intensity of the feelings, behind the amount of eggs placed into someone’s basket can fluctuate from individual to individual, but the generic scale looks something like this:
- 1 egg = crush
- 12 eggs = marriage, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you
Let me try to make it a little clearer with an example. There is a boy, and his name is Rex. Rex has quite a few friends, some of them being of the female persuasion. As he hangs out with these girls, he starts developing feelings for not just one of them, but can see himself being with four of them. Their names are Donna, Pauline, Jenna and Chloe. As Rex spends more and more time with these girls, he starts to put “eggs” into their “baskets.” Starting out, he flirts with all the girls, and has a minimal crush on each of the four, so he puts one egg in each of their baskets. Weeks go by, and he continues to hang out with the girls, and he really starts to like Chloe and Donna. He then adds an egg to each of their baskets. More weeks go by, and now he really likes Chloe. As he is adding eggs to Chloe’s basket, he is taking eggs out of the other girl’s baskets.
It’s been nine months and Rex is falling in love with Chloe. He has placed nine eggs into her basket, and is thinking about proposing. However, out of no where, Chloe breaks up with him, and empties his eggs out of her basket. However, when Rex receives his eggs back, they are no longer whole, but they’ve been smashed. Remember, eggs represent bits of your heart. When Chloe broke Rex’s heart, she smashed his eggs.
Due to the romantic disaster, Rex’s carton of eggs will never be the same.
A year passes and Rex is reunited with Donna! As they start to hang out again, Rex is very cautious with his feelings. He slowly starts to put his eggs into her basket, but she can tell that something is different about him, and that he has been hurt in the past. Rex has to explain his shattered eggs.
Eventually Rex gives all of his eggs (whole and shattered) to Donna and they get married and live happily ever after. Blah blah blah. The end result isn’t really the point of the story. Basically, this fun anecdote teaches us to be careful with how we pass out our love and that even when we get hurt, we can still give our shattered love to someone else someday.
The next time you ask someone, “Like oh my gosh. Do you like like him?” Try asking, “How many eggs do you have in his basket?” It gets great reactions, and it will give you the opportunity to spread the analogy.
Eggs in a Basket
Every person in the world has two things; a basket and a carton, filled with one dozen eggs. The basket represents YOU. Everything about you. Your personality, your looks, your beliefs. The eggs represent bits of your heart that contain romantic feeling. The eggs are to be given out, or put into others baskets, as you see fit. The more eggs you put into someone’s basket, the more romantic feelings you have for them. The intensity of the feelings, behind the amount of eggs placed into someone’s basket can fluctuate from individual to individual, but the generic scale looks something like this:
- 1 egg = crush
- 12 eggs = marriage, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you
Let me try to make it a little clearer with an example. There is a boy, and his name is Rex. Rex has quite a few friends, some of them being of the female persuasion. As he hangs out with these girls, he starts developing feelings for not just one of them, but can see himself being with four of them. Their names are Donna, Pauline, Jenna and Chloe. As Rex spends more and more time with these girls, he starts to put “eggs” into their “baskets.” Starting out, he flirts with all the girls, and has a minimal crush on each of the four, so he puts one egg in each of their baskets. Weeks go by, and he continues to hang out with the girls, and he really starts to like Chloe and Donna. He then adds an egg to each of their baskets. More weeks go by, and now he really likes Chloe. As he is adding eggs to Chloe’s basket, he is taking eggs out of the other girl’s baskets.
It’s been nine months and Rex is falling in love with Chloe. He has placed nine eggs into her basket, and is thinking about proposing. However, out of no where, Chloe breaks up with him, and empties his eggs out of her basket. However, when Rex receives his eggs back, they are no longer whole, but they’ve been smashed. Remember, eggs represent bits of your heart. When Chloe broke Rex’s heart, she smashed his eggs.
Due to the romantic disaster, Rex’s carton of eggs will never be the same.
A year passes and Rex is reunited with Donna! As they start to hang out again, Rex is very cautious with his feelings. He slowly starts to put his eggs into her basket, but she can tell that something is different about him, and that he has been hurt in the past. Rex has to explain his shattered eggs.
Eventually Rex gives all of his eggs (whole and shattered) to Donna and they get married and live happily ever after. Blah blah blah. The end result isn’t really the point of the story. Basically, this fun anecdote teaches us to be careful with how we pass out our love and that even when we get hurt, we can still give our shattered love to someone else someday.
The next time you ask someone, “Like oh my gosh. Do you like like him?” Try asking, “How many eggs do you have in his basket?” It gets great reactions, and it will give you the opportunity to spread the analogy.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thanksgiving Prayer
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for being my God. Thank you for making me and KEEPING me. Thank you Lord for your goodness, and for promising me a spot in your family. No matter how i mess up, you're faithful to forgive me. Thank you for all that you are...you are more than enough. I love you and want to live for you. Amen
Thank you for being my God. Thank you for making me and KEEPING me. Thank you Lord for your goodness, and for promising me a spot in your family. No matter how i mess up, you're faithful to forgive me. Thank you for all that you are...you are more than enough. I love you and want to live for you. Amen
+ = -
Last night, as I was on the phone with one of my good friends, (shout out to John! ‘sup dude?!) we started talking about how we met, and how our relationship had blossomed into a beautiful friendship flower, and how our whole group of friends had formed. It’s actually pretty interesting, tracing the lineage of your friendship tree. It’s cool to map out exactly how you met the people that you love and care about.
So, if you have some free time, sit down and list your closest friends. If you’re super popular, maybe just list ten friends. If you don’t have ten friends, than maybe this exercise isn’t for you. Here is what you should do:
- If you can, write a short description about the first time you met them. If you can’t remember the exact time or place, then you’re a terrible friend and should probably take them off your list. Just kidding. But seriously, write down everything you can remember about how you met that person. First impressions. Who introduced you? How long have you been friends?
- Once you have your list made, then go back through your friends and write why they are your friend. How good of friends are you? What makes them friendly? Why do you get along so well?
- Lastly, go back through the list one more time and grade your friendship, using three different symbols. +, -, and =. If you think you give more to the relationship than your friend, put a +. If you think you give less to the relationship than your friend, put a -. If you think you put the same amount to the relationship as your friend, put a =. Once you’ve done this, you’re done.
Obviously, this is probably an activity that you wouldn’t necessarily share with your friends, but it could be a real eye opener to you. Hopefully, your friendship tree will be graded with a bunch of = signs, but chances are, it won’t look like that. If your chart is filled with + signs, then you’re doing your part as a friend. However, maybe you should take a look as to why you’re friends with that person. If you’re constantly putting in more work, time and effort into your relationships, then maybe the people you call your friends are nothing more than acquaintances. If your chart is filled with – signs, then you need to step your game up. Don’t be lazy, and take your friendships for granted, because before you know it, they’ll be gone. All the people that you’ve clung onto and used for their friendship, will leave and spend time with the people who are reciprocating the act of friendship.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t written down my friendship tree yet, but I’m going to do it this week. I’m a little nervous to see what I find, but I think it will be a great check-up. So, if you have some time, give it a try. Let me know if you liked it.
I’ll leave you with this. I know that being a good friend and finding that place in your heart where you can truly LOVE your friends is one of the greatest, and hardest things that we have to deal with. I looked up the definition of "friend" on dictionary.com, and this is what I found.
Friend: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
Now let’s break that down:
- The best part of this definition in my opinion is the word "attached." The word attached means, joined; connected; bound.
- Affection means: fond attachment, devotion, love
- Personal Regard means: to have or show respect or concern for.
So, I guess if we break down the defintion it would look something like this:
A friend is a person that is joined, connected, and bound to another by feelings of devotion or love, who shows respect and concern for!
Look up again at what a friend is and ask yourself first...are you a "friend?" Does the definition describe you? Second, are the people you surround yourself with "friends?" do the people that you call "friends" attach themselves to you and pour on love and show you respect and would they do anything for you?
Just something to think about…
So, if you have some free time, sit down and list your closest friends. If you’re super popular, maybe just list ten friends. If you don’t have ten friends, than maybe this exercise isn’t for you. Here is what you should do:
- If you can, write a short description about the first time you met them. If you can’t remember the exact time or place, then you’re a terrible friend and should probably take them off your list. Just kidding. But seriously, write down everything you can remember about how you met that person. First impressions. Who introduced you? How long have you been friends?
- Once you have your list made, then go back through your friends and write why they are your friend. How good of friends are you? What makes them friendly? Why do you get along so well?
- Lastly, go back through the list one more time and grade your friendship, using three different symbols. +, -, and =. If you think you give more to the relationship than your friend, put a +. If you think you give less to the relationship than your friend, put a -. If you think you put the same amount to the relationship as your friend, put a =. Once you’ve done this, you’re done.
Obviously, this is probably an activity that you wouldn’t necessarily share with your friends, but it could be a real eye opener to you. Hopefully, your friendship tree will be graded with a bunch of = signs, but chances are, it won’t look like that. If your chart is filled with + signs, then you’re doing your part as a friend. However, maybe you should take a look as to why you’re friends with that person. If you’re constantly putting in more work, time and effort into your relationships, then maybe the people you call your friends are nothing more than acquaintances. If your chart is filled with – signs, then you need to step your game up. Don’t be lazy, and take your friendships for granted, because before you know it, they’ll be gone. All the people that you’ve clung onto and used for their friendship, will leave and spend time with the people who are reciprocating the act of friendship.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t written down my friendship tree yet, but I’m going to do it this week. I’m a little nervous to see what I find, but I think it will be a great check-up. So, if you have some time, give it a try. Let me know if you liked it.
I’ll leave you with this. I know that being a good friend and finding that place in your heart where you can truly LOVE your friends is one of the greatest, and hardest things that we have to deal with. I looked up the definition of "friend" on dictionary.com, and this is what I found.
Friend: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
Now let’s break that down:
- The best part of this definition in my opinion is the word "attached." The word attached means, joined; connected; bound.
- Affection means: fond attachment, devotion, love
- Personal Regard means: to have or show respect or concern for.
So, I guess if we break down the defintion it would look something like this:
A friend is a person that is joined, connected, and bound to another by feelings of devotion or love, who shows respect and concern for!
Look up again at what a friend is and ask yourself first...are you a "friend?" Does the definition describe you? Second, are the people you surround yourself with "friends?" do the people that you call "friends" attach themselves to you and pour on love and show you respect and would they do anything for you?
Just something to think about…
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
'tis the season...wait...not yet
I was thinking…and yes it hurt…about how much things have changed since I was a kid, and how things will be even more different when I have kids someday (well, when my wife has kids…if I have a wife. Hey, wife, if you’re out there reading this…call me?).
Here’s a flash-forward to 2020;
- The Holiday stories I heard as a kid are different. There are weird adaptations to winter classics that are changing the way my kids grow up. For instance, my kids have to read stories about Melty the Snowpuddle (Frosty’s nephew) who battles global warming, and is bullied by El Nino. They read about Rudolph the Reindeer who is socially accepted by all his reindeer friends, because after all, it’s not politically correct to discriminate against reindeer based upon their nose color.
- They don’t enjoy “Christmas break,” but rather have time off during the “winter ‘celebration of several different religious festivals’ break.”
- We can’t enjoy the smell of fresh pine, and the explosion of color exuding from the Christmas tree, because the nation has “gone-green,” and the cutting down of all trees is now illegal.
- Apparently Christmas is now a 3 month holiday because radio stations start playing Christmas songs in October. My kids think Santa is coming before Halloween does.
- The phrase, “Merry Christmas,” has been banned in public, as this could be offensive to someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Now, the correct greeting verbiage is “Merry Winter.”
*** Disclaimer: I have not actually been to the future to see whether or not any of the above is true.
Present Day, 2009:
Can you imagine living in a future where Frosty doesn’t exist, and Rudolph doesn’t have a red nose? A future where you can’t spread joy by wishing someone a Merry Christmas and you don’t get the excitement of everything that comes with a Christmas tree? Gosh that would be terrible!
Here is my challenge to you. Enjoy everything that comes with Christmas while you can. Drink up every moment you get to spend with your family, and cherish every bulb or ornament you get to hang on your tree. Read books, play games, build snowmen. Christmas is an awesome time of year. However, remember this. Jesus’ birth needs to be our focus on this holiday. There can be no greater love or gift, besides Christ. With that being said, I believe Christ has provided us with fun traditions as a way to express and spread the joy that he has brought into our world.
So, be happy and delight in what Christmas means. But maybe wait until after Thanksgiving to start listening to Christmas music. You don’t want to set our lame, 2020 future in motion, by starting to listen to Christmas tunes too soon, do you?
Here’s a flash-forward to 2020;
- The Holiday stories I heard as a kid are different. There are weird adaptations to winter classics that are changing the way my kids grow up. For instance, my kids have to read stories about Melty the Snowpuddle (Frosty’s nephew) who battles global warming, and is bullied by El Nino. They read about Rudolph the Reindeer who is socially accepted by all his reindeer friends, because after all, it’s not politically correct to discriminate against reindeer based upon their nose color.
- They don’t enjoy “Christmas break,” but rather have time off during the “winter ‘celebration of several different religious festivals’ break.”
- We can’t enjoy the smell of fresh pine, and the explosion of color exuding from the Christmas tree, because the nation has “gone-green,” and the cutting down of all trees is now illegal.
- Apparently Christmas is now a 3 month holiday because radio stations start playing Christmas songs in October. My kids think Santa is coming before Halloween does.
- The phrase, “Merry Christmas,” has been banned in public, as this could be offensive to someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Now, the correct greeting verbiage is “Merry Winter.”
*** Disclaimer: I have not actually been to the future to see whether or not any of the above is true.
Present Day, 2009:
Can you imagine living in a future where Frosty doesn’t exist, and Rudolph doesn’t have a red nose? A future where you can’t spread joy by wishing someone a Merry Christmas and you don’t get the excitement of everything that comes with a Christmas tree? Gosh that would be terrible!
Here is my challenge to you. Enjoy everything that comes with Christmas while you can. Drink up every moment you get to spend with your family, and cherish every bulb or ornament you get to hang on your tree. Read books, play games, build snowmen. Christmas is an awesome time of year. However, remember this. Jesus’ birth needs to be our focus on this holiday. There can be no greater love or gift, besides Christ. With that being said, I believe Christ has provided us with fun traditions as a way to express and spread the joy that he has brought into our world.
So, be happy and delight in what Christmas means. But maybe wait until after Thanksgiving to start listening to Christmas music. You don’t want to set our lame, 2020 future in motion, by starting to listen to Christmas tunes too soon, do you?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
colors
On a day to day basis, I’m willing to bet that most people don’t even think about the people who are serving our country, putting their lives on the line. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve taken my freedom for granted, and to be honest, I’m a little disgusted with myself. But it’s amazing how things change when someone you love is out there protecting your “rights.” This is in honor of Veterans Day.
Right hand on my heart, hat off my head, my mind just thinks of you,
Every time I see our stars, the red, the white, the blue.
I hope you’re well and staying strong, and most of all you’re safe.
I pray my prayers are helping you, and you’re leaning on your faith.
Thank you for your selflessness, and thanks for being brave.
Thanks for fighting for my cause, for the freedom that you save.
I hope you know I think of you, each and every day.
You may be half way ‘round the world, but in my thoughts you stay.
If there’s one thing you taught me, that I won’t do anymore,
Its taking you for granted, and what you’ve done at war.
Our debt’s to you, our Veterans, the living and the dead.
You’ve protected all our stars, the blue, the white, the red.
So every time you see our flag, and watch our colors fly.
Remember those who’ve served and fought, protected us and died.
DK, CF – I miss you. Come home safely
Right hand on my heart, hat off my head, my mind just thinks of you,
Every time I see our stars, the red, the white, the blue.
I hope you’re well and staying strong, and most of all you’re safe.
I pray my prayers are helping you, and you’re leaning on your faith.
Thank you for your selflessness, and thanks for being brave.
Thanks for fighting for my cause, for the freedom that you save.
I hope you know I think of you, each and every day.
You may be half way ‘round the world, but in my thoughts you stay.
If there’s one thing you taught me, that I won’t do anymore,
Its taking you for granted, and what you’ve done at war.
Our debt’s to you, our Veterans, the living and the dead.
You’ve protected all our stars, the blue, the white, the red.
So every time you see our flag, and watch our colors fly.
Remember those who’ve served and fought, protected us and died.
DK, CF – I miss you. Come home safely
Friday, November 6, 2009
empty
Imagine a friendship being like two water pitchers, both half-full. When the 1st water pitcher is feeling low, the 2nd pitcher pours them self into the 1st to fill them up, giving of their own good to benefit the other, and vice versa. When pitcher 2 is starting to feel low, pitcher 1 pours into them. That’s what a friendship should look like. Give & take.
But often, that’s not what it looks like…
What happens when pitcher 1 continually pours into pitcher 2? It gives every last drop, hoping and deeply wishing that pitcher 2 will reciprocate and pour back into them. But pitcher 2 never pours back. And after everything pitcher 1 has given, all it has to show for is complete emptiness.
Dear Pitcher 2,
You may never fully realize the kind of vacancy you create in the pit of someone’s stomach, or the kind of disappointment that you pulse through their hearts. You’ve always been like this. You take for granted the kind of love and care that others have poured into you, because after all, your number one priority has always been yourself.
I truly hope that your vision is clouded. That you’re oblivious to how your selfishness affects the people that surround you, that you don’t truly notice you’re pushing them away. However, some twinge of regret, some ache of confusion makes me believe otherwise. It makes me believe that you knew all along. You knew how you were treating your “friends.” They were just means to an end. The end being your happiness. I hope you’ve reached your end.
Dear Pitcher 1,
You may never fully realize the kind of fullness you create in someone’s life, or the kind of joy you drive through people’s hearts. You’ve always been like this. You pour your love and care into others, because after all, your number one priority has always been putting others before yourself.
I truly hope that your vision is clear. That you recognize how your compassion affects the people that surround you, that you clearly notice you’re changing their lives. However, some twinge of regret, some ache of confusion makes me believe otherwise. It makes me believe you have no idea. You are left in the dark wondering why you even cared, because the people you’re pouring into don’t reciprocate. You were just a means to an end. The end being other’s happiness.
I wish I had more to give, but you’ve taken my last drop.
My heart is sick and misses you, and I can’t make it stop.
I hate myself for missing you, and don’t know what to do.
I’ve told myself you’re dead to me, after what you put me through.
I don’t regret knowing you, and deep down I still care.
Now I know what they mean, when they say life’s not fair.
A part of me wants to think, that our story is not done.
But you’ll always be pitcher two, and I’ll be pitcher one.
But often, that’s not what it looks like…
What happens when pitcher 1 continually pours into pitcher 2? It gives every last drop, hoping and deeply wishing that pitcher 2 will reciprocate and pour back into them. But pitcher 2 never pours back. And after everything pitcher 1 has given, all it has to show for is complete emptiness.
Dear Pitcher 2,
You may never fully realize the kind of vacancy you create in the pit of someone’s stomach, or the kind of disappointment that you pulse through their hearts. You’ve always been like this. You take for granted the kind of love and care that others have poured into you, because after all, your number one priority has always been yourself.
I truly hope that your vision is clouded. That you’re oblivious to how your selfishness affects the people that surround you, that you don’t truly notice you’re pushing them away. However, some twinge of regret, some ache of confusion makes me believe otherwise. It makes me believe that you knew all along. You knew how you were treating your “friends.” They were just means to an end. The end being your happiness. I hope you’ve reached your end.
Dear Pitcher 1,
You may never fully realize the kind of fullness you create in someone’s life, or the kind of joy you drive through people’s hearts. You’ve always been like this. You pour your love and care into others, because after all, your number one priority has always been putting others before yourself.
I truly hope that your vision is clear. That you recognize how your compassion affects the people that surround you, that you clearly notice you’re changing their lives. However, some twinge of regret, some ache of confusion makes me believe otherwise. It makes me believe you have no idea. You are left in the dark wondering why you even cared, because the people you’re pouring into don’t reciprocate. You were just a means to an end. The end being other’s happiness.
I wish I had more to give, but you’ve taken my last drop.
My heart is sick and misses you, and I can’t make it stop.
I hate myself for missing you, and don’t know what to do.
I’ve told myself you’re dead to me, after what you put me through.
I don’t regret knowing you, and deep down I still care.
Now I know what they mean, when they say life’s not fair.
A part of me wants to think, that our story is not done.
But you’ll always be pitcher two, and I’ll be pitcher one.
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