Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Chapter 2

Take the Shot

There are times in everyone’s life where decisions must be made. Choices, not only about life, but also about love. Making choices that are linked to romantic feelings can be some of the hardest decisions we have the privilege of making. The great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” All along I thought this was talking about sports, but I’m convinced this is talking about LOVE. Who would have thought that a hockey player would know so much about romance?

Maybe I’m just speaking from personal experience, but I’m pretty sure everyone from the beginning of time has had a crush on someone. However, I really don’t like the word crush. What does that even mean? It’s dumb. The word crush means to destroy or squash. Why would you ever want to squash someone you like? Stupid. So we are going to revert back to the chapter one. Eggs in a basket. Everyone has experienced that suffocating feeling, when all of the air evacuates your lungs because the girl (or guy) of your dreams just walked into the room. Everyone knows the feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest like a lion trying to escape from a cage. This is what it feels like when you’ve placed an egg in someone’s basket. The journey has begun.

There comes a point during the journey that a huge leap needs to be made. I could be putting eggs in a girl’s basket that doesn’t even know I exist. Egg placing isn’t always mutual. There is a pivotal moment in a relationship where the egg placement becomes intentional. This is known as a DTR. What is a DTR you might ask? Well, there are several different interpretations to the acronym. DTR:
- Determine the Relationship
- Discuss the Relationship
- Dispute the Relationship
- Declare the Relationship
- Delicious Taco Restaurant

DTRs happen at different points in a relationship for different people. Some guys will meet a girl and ask her on a date the same night. Some guys will get to know a girl and finally express their feelings for them months or even years later. Is there a right or wrong way to do this? No. Just different ways.

Most girls aren’t going to put themselves on the line, and initiate the DTR. A girl could be head over heals for a guy, patiently waiting for him to ask her on a date, but never let on that they are interested. Confusing right? RIGHT! Initiation of the relationship 95 out of 100 times is going to be by the guy. Putting your heart out on the line can be tough. It definitely comes easier for some, but I assure you, any guy has the ability to show emotion and sweep a girl off her feet.

. Here is the rule, and where the new analogy really takes off. I know Wayne played hockey, but I’m going to take his quote to the basketball court. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So…take the shot. Let her know how you feel! Go for it! Sweep her off her feet! If the shot is open, take it. Don’t force it, or rush it, but wait for the right time, get set, and take the shot. I know, I know, sometimes it’s not that simple. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule. Here are some things you might run into. All of the situations will be placed in the masculine setting, but the same principles apply for females.

What if the girl whose basket I’m placing eggs in, has a boyfriend?
Be careful. However, sometimes you have to get the steal before you can take a shot. Just because she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean she’s gone for good. Play good defense, steal her away, and take the shot.

What if she doesn’t know I exist?
Be patient. Sometimes you have to sit on the bench for a while before you get noticed. Keep working at it though. Do things that get you noticed (in a good way!). You’ll get your opportunity someday. Just don’t be scared to take the shot once you’re off the bench.

What if she doesn’t like me?
Stay strong. Getting rejected is a bad feeling, but at least you took the shot. Keep working on your moves. Don’t try the same thing twice, or you’ll just get blocked again. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you get a good shot off. If you get rejected three times though, you should probably stop shooting.

What if she’s a great friend and I don’t want to ruin that?
Shoot it! This usually takes them off guard, but it’s when you have the most open shot. Like I said earlier, a girl could be head over heals for you, but never show interest. This could be the case with your friend. You just have to decide whether or not she’s worth the risk. It could be awkward after, but if you’re as great of friends as you think you are, your friendship should stand the test.

What if she has 16 toes, wears a patch over her left eye, and smells like Shrek?
No advice

What if she likes me, but I don’t like her?
Pass the ball. Don’t pump-fake, or even think about shooting the ball. Divert her attention elsewhere by getting the ball out of your hands. Don’t let her think there is even a chance. It’s not fair to her, if you lead her on. If she is as rare as a blue footed alligator, she might initiate and take a shot at your hoop. If you truly don’t like her, BLOCK that crap and shake your finger like Dikembe Mutumbo. But, if you think there might be a chance that you could place some eggs in her basket…go for it.

Take Gretzky’s advice and don’t live your love life on the bench. Get out there and take some shots. Being in the game and getting rejected is better than sitting on the bench. And who knows…the next shot you take might be a beautiful swoosh!

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